To Blurb or not to Blurb? -To Blurb, Duh!

I’m starting to put together a blurb for Vampire Edifice.
Here is what I came up with just now.
I suspect I’m going to have to change a lot of it as I’m not sure it’s concise enough.

If you have comments feel free to share them, the floor (or comment section) is yours.

Vampire Edifice: Affliction Series #2

As soon as Kati escapes death at the clutches of Countess Erzsébet Báthory she realizes she risks detection by Palatine Thurzo who is investigating the murders of the countless girls that died at her mistress’s hands.

Intent on finding the missing victim everyone is talking about, the Palatine searches the castle and uncovers hints of possible written evidence. Wanting to protect Afflicted Vampires, Kati risks being caught in order to hide the journals.

When one of the Countess’s conspirators threatens to expose her to the Palatine she is left with no choice but to leave, making her way to Vienna to see if everything the Countess described in her journals was true.

There, she finds an Afflicted Paradise where she is accepted and helped to deal with the pain of her past. When she discovers that Báthory’s ill son is secretly being held in a Sanatorium for the marginalized and depraved however, she comes to the conclusion that all is not as it seems and her life might be in danger once more…